Being told to "just be yourself" isn't always that simple. Through Girls' Life, I've watched generations of girls wrestle with many of the same questions about identity, belonging, and figuring out who they are.
In my work with Girls' Life magazine, one of our core missions is to help provide guidance for young girls and women, and I see Be Yourself and Other Bad Advice as an important and much needed book.
Getting a bit personal here, one reasons I chose to write for children was the idea that if I could help just one child know that there is life beyond high school, then everything I went through would have been worth it.
I now have four, adult, living children, ages 30, 27, 26, and 22. As of last year, all four of my children have been close friends with someone who committed suicide. This statistic should be staggering, in just my inner circle. Myself and my daughters suffer with depression and anxiety, and we have all been in life-saving therapy as a result. My youngest actually voluntarily committed herself to impatient, at age 14. My oldest son recently went through an inpatient stay. We are now in family therapy, and we are still in a process of healing.
Because of our therapy, I recognize the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) effectively used throughout this book. DBT helps with emotional regulation, and at its core, helps name the emotions being experienced, giving children the words to help express strong feelings they may not have been able to do.
Alexithymia is a personality trait characterized by significant difficulty identifying understanding and describing emotions. It is not a lack of emotion: Individuals with alexithymia do experience emotional responses, but they struggle to process, decipher, or consciously understand them. At age 35, I learned I had alexithymia as a child. I had to learn to recognize the feelings within me. Oh, this is anxiety. ~Kim Childress
DBT balances two opposite ideas: acceptance (accepting yourself as you are) and change (working to improve your life).
These concepts are not in any way hammered in, but rather skills are shared to help name feelings, and the practical advice includes honesty, humor, ways to practice self care. Suggestions throughout offer thought for pondering, ways to figure out who you are, especially in a social media driven world that tells young girls how they "should" be. These important life schools not taught in school.
Meredith Walker takes that familiar advice and digs deeper, offering honest, funny, and encouraging guidance for teens discovering who they're becoming. Journal prompts throughout invite girls to think on what brings them joy? What hobbies sound interesting? Discovering special talents, and so much more.
REASSURANCE IN A CHAOTIC TIME: In a period when societal uncertainty and change trickles down into teenagers' lives, Walker offers solid, actionable advice to help readers identify their strengths and values and trust themselves -- information that holds true no matter what's going on in the world.
USEFUL ORIGINAL EXERCISES: Interactive illustrations throughout the book illuminate some of its key concepts, while writing and other creative prompts throughout encourage readers to break out of their routines and reimagine their possibilities.
About the Contributors:
Meredith Walker began her career in journalism at the groundbreaking Nickelodeon series Nick News. She worked her way up from production assistant to segment producer, traveling the country to interview kids, experts, politicians, and artists for news stories. She later moved to Saturday Night Live, where she ran the talent department, before she and Amy Poehler cofounded Smart Girls, an online community that encourages young women to celebrate who they are and who they are becoming.
Through programs, workshops, and day camps, Meredith has helped girls try new things and discover more about themselves. That work has taken her from classrooms and regional programs to the White House, the United Nations, and communities around the world. She now lives in Austin, Texas, with her longtime love, Tom, and their dogs Banjo and Farris.
Nina Cosford has illustrated more than twenty books. She lives in the United Kingdom.
Young Adult Nonfiction / Social Topics / Emotions & Feelings
Young Adult Nonfiction / Social Topics / Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance
Young Adult Nonfiction / Health & Daily Living / Mental Health
Young Adult Nonfiction / Activism & Social Justice
Young Adult Nonfiction / Girls & Women